Shlomi Fish and Friends’ Additions to the Chuck Norris/Etc. Facts

Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day, but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no-one will know his secrets.

Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch.

Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to do.

Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice.

( Actually, he wrote it in 24 hours. Twice. The first time longhand in blood. The second time he typed it in from memory (by Drew Roberts). )

Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever he wants. (By: Kattana.)

Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN server's head.

Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee)

He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)

Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution. And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks.

Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him.

Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. As a result, when he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system.

Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most optimised machines for them using real atoms.

Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider lame.

Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame.

There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck Norris allows to live. (By: joeyadams)

Wikipedia deletionists don't delete lame Wikipedia articles. Chuck Norris deletes lame Wikipedia articles.

No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except Chuck Norris, who knows all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can answer questions about the design of Perl 7.

Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the Linux Kernel Mailing List), understands them all, and he kills all gnomes he sees in sight.

When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in under a minute. A computer cannot afford to keep Chuck waiting for too long.

Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all the great men who could ever pose a competition.

"My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his boss."

Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is false." a true one.

Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make humanity a more challenging adversary. If everyone had enough to eat, it would be too easy for him.

Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.

Chuck Norris once wrote a 10 million lines C++ program in Microsoft Notepad without having to use the backspace key. And it compiled without errors or warnings, and was 100% bug-free.

If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad will go to the mountain. If the mountain will not come to Chuck Norris, then the mountain will suffer Norris’s wrath for not complying with his whims.

Chuck Norris has 0 messages in his E-mail inbox. Including already read ones.

XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread.

Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them.

XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.

The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.

The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less Tea (XSLT).

XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.

Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.".

Even APL won't make friends with XSLT.

God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but then thought it was too evil.

In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!

Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT.

The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT code.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die! And be thankful I don't force you to write XSLT."

Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.

• Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.
• Larry Wall gets the colon.
• There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters.
• Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch.
• Larry Wall dreams in Perl.
• Larry Wall can program in his sleep.
• Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris.
• Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

• Larry Wall does know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong or misinformed, so people will think he's not as awesome as he really is.
• Larry Wall's pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly.
• Larry Wall has been changing the world. By modifying its very source code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing to fear but XSLT.

• Larry Wall can make shit up, and the computer will understand what he means.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish