* The Master - "Call me 'Karl'". - "I always thought the Master would be Karl the Great" - "You're Charlemagne, admit it." - "Idiot, you've discovered my identity and I shall now parish. Selena Mandrake - I have been slain by you." - his soul leaves his body and gives his body. - Selena touches his corpse with her foot and the body evaporates into dust. - The crowd cheers. * "You now must slay The Rider, the Vampirella with the oldest body ; the Integrator, the Vampire with the same body and same soul ; and The Slayer, the first vampire to have slain." * "Only a Vampire can slay a vampire, and vampirellas are the most formidable slayers." * "Tell you what - I'm no longer The Slayer. I quit" - The Guide: "As you wish." - A crazy looking woman heads into their direction with a knife in her hands. - Selena freaks out and hides behind the Guide. - The Guide pulls out a cross bow and shoots the woman in her heart and she evaporates into dust. - "That was the Slayer" - "Selena: so you slew her?" - "The Guide: no, you did." * The Guide gives Selena a gift in a fancy chest. The first compartment contains a very stylised 1d10 die, and after opening the other compartment, she sees a plastic card saying "Vampire" on the side, with her ID photo, and saying: «Selena Mandrake ; "buffy" ; The Dispeller» on the other side. * The two British vampires. - Selena is doing her maths homework at the library. - "I'm Alan. I'm John. We're Mighty Vampires." - "Selena Mandrake. Mighty Pirate.". - The start talking about various pop culture stuff and funny things. - end up emulating the suicide squad from "Life of Brian". - with unsharpened pencils. - "Selena Mandrake - we have been slain by you.". * The vampires in the hall: - Selena tells them that they are likely the good guys and should stand for themselves. - "Vampires of the World, Unite!" - They agree that she is right. - Someone suggests they do a group exercise. - "Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah" (like Steve Ballmer's "Developers, developers, developers"). - Selena says that the religious students in her school will not appreciate that and tries to turn it off. - Meanwhile, the vampires take a stake, and stab themselves in their heart, causing all of them to evaporate into dust. - Selena turns off the music and goes to clean up the dust. * Milady Kate Canterson Apr 28 20:03:40 Only in the real world of the story Lord Buckingham was actually slayed by someone else who was a Brunette English/French combo. Apr 28 20:03:54 Like she was born in France to English parents, and moved to England at the age of 6. Apr 28 20:04:06 There she forgot her French and learned English. Apr 28 20:04:14 rindolf: sounds like a cool story Apr 28 20:04:53 And later on she married a noble and studied French, but then he died from a disease. Apr 28 20:05:19 However, she was miserable at first and then became happy again and decided to move to Paris. Apr 28 20:05:24 So she became a socialite there and also taught English, learned French, and instructed people with the Bible. Apr 28 20:05:35 Only many people envied her because she was so compotent. Apr 28 20:05:40 Diablo-D3: no. Apr 28 20:05:47 Diablo-D3: she did. Apr 28 20:05:53 Diablo-D3: Milady Kate . Apr 28 20:06:20 Diablo-D3: BTW, I've thought that Captain Picard is more similar to Cardinal Richelieu. Apr 28 20:06:32 Diablo-D3: and I don't know who Thes is. Apr 28 20:06:53 Anyway, she became a little miserable from all the intolerance of these French female jerks. Apr 28 20:06:58 rindolf: thes, plural of the. Apr 28 20:07:01 Not all the socialites were jerks. Apr 28 20:07:09 ALL SOCIALITES ARE JERKS Apr 28 20:07:11 Diablo-D3: oh, not all vampires got slain. Apr 28 20:07:11 NO APPARENTLY YOU HAVE TO SET THE GROUND ON FIRE TOO Apr 28 20:07:21 except for the google founders Apr 28 20:07:26 Diablo-D3: HYPERBOLE FTW. Apr 28 20:07:40 Diablo-D3: anyway, eventually she had a long affair with D'Artagnan. Apr 28 20:07:57 Diablo-D3: which was kept secret , but most people realised that. Apr 28 20:08:03 Diablo-D3: she was an Anglican. Apr 28 20:08:10 Diablo-D3: Milady Kate I mean. Apr 28 20:09:07 Diablo-D3: and then Richelieu ordered the king to order D'Artagnan and Athos and her to escort her in order to plan the slaying of Lord Buckingham. Apr 28 20:09:19 Now slaying is not the traditional killing. Apr 28 20:10:04 who the fuck are these people Apr 28 20:11:41 What happened is that her British friend shot one bullet at Buckingham , said he missed on purpose , and recharged his gun. So she told him she just slain him, brought a body that looked like Lord Buckingham and said he and she are going to America to start a new life. Apr 28 20:11:49 And they were leaving from Plymouth. Apr 28 20:11:57 Diablo-D3: read "The Three Musketeers" Apr 28 20:12:09 I'm surprised you have not read it. Apr 28 20:12:20 Diablo-D3: Milady de Winter is an awesome character. Apr 28 20:12:31 So is his portrayal of Cardinal Richelieu. Apr 28 20:12:39 Dumas Pere was great. - after arriving to New York, Kate and George (formerly Lord Buckingham) part ways. - Kate leads several incarnations as a Bible, languages and liberal arts scholar - until Dumas publishes the book "The Three Musketeers". - The book's popularity makes "Milady de-Winter" and Kate as "*The* Slayer", which causes both France and England to claim Milady Canterson as their own and (what's worse) makes Kate a popular target for people who want her to slay them. - Annoyed, she travels to Paris to meet Dumas. - After telling him she has become the Real Slayer, he says it is a great honour for him, and offers her his finest food and drinks. - Kate accepts despite the fact that she is still irritated. * The plot plan: - The Two British Vampires - The demon walking in the park with the long neck. - "You are past redemption" - "And you have ruined my newspaper." - The Three. - fighting one another in various ways until they throw toothpicks at one another. - Selena's birthday party. - She was born in 20 February. - Meleyum - A small, non-human demon with "powerful mystical powers". - Jewish - "There are Jews of many species". - "Selena, you are now eight and ten years old - you are now a woman." - She asks him to wait for spring break so she'll have enough time to prepare - Teleports her to The Amber, the mystical centre of the universe. - The Amber being a villa in Northern Tel Aviv. - The Mendelssohn household. - Selena goes on more trip to Israel. - She ends up showing a photo shootout of her trip to her friend. - Selena says she isn't convinced this is the Amber. - "My slayer went to Israel and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" souvenir T-shirt. - Meleyum is slain by her. - The congregation of vampires in the hall. - The Master. - Turns out to be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlemagne - Karl the Great - After Selena discovers it, he promptly gets slain, his soul leaves his body. - Selena touches the body with her foot and it evaporates into dust. - The scene with the guide who tells her she must now slay the Rider, the Integrator and the Slayer. - Selena quits as the Slayer. - Gift - Summer vacation + start of university studies. - cuniform. - The scene with Moses and Aharon - Meeting Milady Kate Canterson - Epilogue: Selena gets tutored by Kate in French, languages, etc. - End